Burdens of Death
by Demeter Goddess of Protection
Summary: May not be continued, depends on how many reviews I get. Lily Evans is burdened with the fact she is a half-vampire and how many lives she has destroyed. Will have an insight of prejudice against creatures and Slytherins.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Only the plot belongs to me.  
  
Lily Evans narrowed her eyes 'til they were no more than tiny slits as she glared at the cowering boy. She swept her wand extravagantly and the boy too was swept up on his feet.  
  
'Leave.' She said coldly. The pale boy stumbled away, coughing up blood and nearly crying.  
  
Lily sighed, turned to the wall. It was night she hated the most. It was when her hunger struck.  
  
Lily was a vampire, a piece of information not many knew. Well, perhaps not fully vampire for she could stand the light and her reflection was there in the mirror. She was a half-vampire. It showed if one looked closely enough. She had many advantages of being a half vampire but these certain abilities were nothing Lily was proud of, for it was because of them that she lived in fear, waiting for the day someone would find out her secret and she would be sent away from Hogwarts.  
  
She often had cravings for blood at night. Not tasting blood or anything but seeing it calmed her nerves, much as she hated to admit it. She could peer through darkness and see things others could not as well as the fact she could fly. These may seem unbelievable and awesome but it wasn't. Lily could not use any of these abilities for fear of the possibility that someone might see her.  
  
Lily had golden-red hair that seemed to resemble blood. It made sense, seeing as she was a half vampire. Her green eyes were huge and sparkled with malevolence most of the time when she glared at human beings. She was tall and thin with pale delicate skin that had a few scatters of freckles across her nose and cheeks.  
  
Lily detested her body for she viewed it as 'weak' with 'nothing to support it'. It was true that her arms were a little thinner than most but there was little she could do about it.  
  
The particular boy Lily had been torturing was Peter Pettigrew. In the eyes of everyone, Peter had been a nobody, was a nobody, and will always be a nobody.  
  
He had been stumbling around in the dark when he had quite literally bumped into Lily. Lily had been craving blood and it was the time of the month when her vampire side was completely taking over. For that one night, she was a full-blooded pure vampire and she had mangled the boy until he was an inch from death. Afterwards, she healed him and made him swear not to tell anybody, not that he knew who she even was. All he knew was that the creature he had met was a vampire.  
  
Lily, now back as a half vampire, shuddered and rocked herself back and forth, back and forth, sobbing quietly.  
  
Imagine was would have happened if she had killed him? Then, for the rest of her life she would have the burden of one more life she had destroyed.  
  
Lily shuddered again but knew that if anyone found her in this state, she would have some serious explaining to do for she was half-drenched in blood as well as a few slashes on her robes. Peter Pettigrew WAS a bit tougher than he looked.  
  
A/N: Yes, I know it's short but this is more like an introduction. I'm not sure if I will be continuing this fic as I have about, hm.27 more stories to finish ^^. It depends on how many reviews I get. Probably none but can one not hope? 


	2. Chapter 2

Another summer day, another hot, pointless day. Lily sighed and used her legs to get in the air half-heartedly. The swing was uncomfortable but the breeze was cool on her face as she swung back and forth. Lily was in the forest. Not exactly the forest. The orphanage where she resided had built a 'playground', which consisted of a few swings, a miniature Quidditch field, and a small sandbox. Nearly completely surrounding it was a forest. Lily sighed again, feeling the minutes slipping by too slowly. She knew why though. The orphanage had a history class where, in one lesson, had taught Lily and the other orphans about a mad squib who, enraged by his lack of magic, had taken his mother's wand and attempted to change the world by turning all the houses in the world into trees. The result had been time passing slower when your life was dull and uninteresting.

Lily chewed on a strand of hair for lack of more interesting activity, and hated the squib. Stupid weak thing. The swing slowed to a stop and Lily looked into the forest, where it had looked as though something had flashed. Curiosity suddenly gripped her as she realized that she had never been in the forest. The orphanage had forbidden their residents to explore it but now Lily realized that she could not see a barrier keeping her from it.

Walking cautiously, Lily ran a few fingers through her tousled hair and stepped into the forest. It looked normal. Quiet, with only a few birds chirping. Lily was disappointed and figured that the only reason she had been restricted from this area was because there was always the chance that she would get lost. Lily sat against a tree and remembered how she had gotten here.

_I'm cold, I'm hungry, I need it. That is all I want. I must look horrible. What is happening to me? What is this desire, what am I feeling? I want…to live. I must look horrible. But why does it matter? I just need…someone…something.._

_This is a clearing. Finally. That was a huge forest. _

_I suddenly am curious as to what I'm looking at. A huge stretch of something black. I squat down and touch it curiously. What is this for? A few yellow lines in the middle of the road. How odd. _

_I'm so dizzy…I can't..fight…maybe this is what my mother meant when she said I was a useless half-breed. What is a half-breed? _

_"Excuse me, are you alright?" Dizzy, dizzy. But I still look up. How startling. A middle aged human, with such a tight, stern face. Why am I such a monster? What am I? _

_And this..something is happening. Something..His neck. Why do I care about that? I leap up, a young ferocious animal, and I attempt to get to his neck. I hate myself. The woman gasps and pulls something out of the strange billowy dress she is wearing. She mumbles something and I fall over, motionless. I cannot move, cannot even twitch. I want to die, die from shame. And even after all these, I still want it. The blood. I am sick. The woman disappeared! Where is she? The world..is dimming. _

Lily sighed. The next morning, she had been told that she was to live in this orphanage. Through careful explanations, she had been told that she was magical, that magic existed, and that she was a half vampire. Lily simply nodded through ever explanation and afterwards, she struggled to tell them who she was and where she had come from. All she had were distant memories of her mother, frail and hateful, clenching Lily's wrists at times to whisper how horrible she was. And although Lily eventually left her mother, the angry whispers stayed with her.

One thing Lily was grateful for was that, in growing older, she seemed able to control her vampire abilities and desires much more easily.

Lily was also counting down the days. Two more weeks and she would be attending a school by the name of Hogwarts, which was apparently most prestigious. However, she was still a little bit doubtful about it. Not nervous exactly, simply unsure of if she actually wanted to go.

Perhaps she was just being a normal pre-teenager. Or perhaps, the most distant corners of her mind, she already knew that Hogwarts wouldn't just give her an academic education. It would educate her in the ugly ways the world worked, the way the people's minds worked.

Or maybe she was just being paranoid.


End file.
